Technically I am not supposed to be on here at work, but I cannot even take it.

I'm struggling today.  While I am trying my hardest to be ok, I keep feeling myself slip into this funk today.  Mostly because I'm miles away and feeling utterly HELPLESS!!

I'm an emotional person as it is, and whine from time to time as well.  But I typically feel as though I'm a pretty strong person.  But today I'm fighting myself to keep from breaking down. 

Today is August 15th.  Today is My Aunt Shirley's birthday.  Or should I say, "would have been"  her birthday? She passed away last year and its the first time we celebrate it without her.  Seems unreal to imagine a year has passed.  But at the same times its as if 10 years have managed to slip by. 

Just been thinking about her all day.  Her smile, her laugh, her amazing sense of humor.  She was the most incredible person.  SUCH A BIG HEART! She loved her family, her 3 children, her grandchildren, HER LIFE.  No matter how hard things got, she always said "LIFE IS GOOD".  

This morning I sent a message to all 3 cousins, Not sure when any of them will actually receive that message, but I wanted them to know I have been thinking of them all day.  Also I talked with my mom, letting her know she was also on my mind today.  Then I called my Nana.  We talked for 48 minutes.  I felt so much better knowing I was making her laugh on this difficult day.  Such a wonderful talk. But I just wish I could have been right next to her today, supporting her as she gets through today.

                                    Auntie Shirley,
                      There is poo-poo on my shoe! haha ;)
                I love you so much, I miss you even more.