~ Day 22 ~

22. What makes you different from everyone else.

To say EVERYTHING would just be the easy answer, however we are all different from everyone else. Everything about us makes us different when all put together. Hair, eye color, personality, strengths, weaknesses etc.

Growing up for me was a little challenging. Things weren't a fairytale for me, though I guess it isn't for anyone. We were tossed around. My parents split up, my mom was battling addiction and was up and down all the time. We moved around a lot growing up. But no matter what happened with my parents I knew I had my grandparents (Nana & Bruce)! They feel like my parents to me. No matter what time, day or night, if I needed them I could call them and they would come get us. Often times things would get rough and I would convince my brother to pack his back pack and we would ride our bikes all the way to my grandparents' house to stay for a while. I would stay at my grandparents' house for 2 weeks at a time sometimes because I was craving that stability, that structure. Then my mom hit a low point and gave up custody of us. Most children would be devastated by this (my brother was) but I was thrilled. ( I know that sounds terrible) but I was finally getting a "home" a place that I could Belong, stability, a father figure and a mother figure in my life. There were days that I would get sad, but for the most part I feel like living with my grandparents is what started to shape me into who I am today. They taught me "work hard today and get to enjoy tomorrow", "be thankful for everything you have, NOT FOR WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE".

When I was 16 I was given the chance at adventure/new beginning. I took it right away. I loaded up my car and my brother and we moved to Utah to live with my cousin Roberta. (i remember being scared that I was like my mom and packing up and running-but I was running to something NOT FROM SOMETHING). Roberta was so gracious and so determined to give Will and I a childhood before it was over. She loved us and she did all she could to help shape us into good people. It's funny when I look back on it now. I would never wish my troubled past on anyone, but at the same time I feel like I learned to appreciate things more than others do. Family, a place to call home, love, friendship, loyalty. There are times I go to the extreme with things or even "push my luck and even cling on at times" but I guess its me just testing the waters. Testing to see if it/they are real or not. If it/they will fade or if it/they will remain.

For a long time I was very insecure with myself (as is every teenage girl and young woman). I never quite felt good enough for things in my life or for people. I was always second guessing myself as to whether or not I could succeed at something or if I deserved it or not. After graduating high school my relationship with Jason was serious and we were really close. My cousin would (quite often) tell me to "slow down" to "take it easy" but there was no stopping my feelings for him. I knew I loved Jason right away. I knew this because he was good to me, he was interested in "ME", he liked me for "me". I was completely comfortable in my own skin 100% for the first time in my life! I felt like I was "on top of the world". He made me feel so special and still does this daily! I have become more and more confident in myself (inside and out)! He has helped show me that I am worth it, that I am special, that I am beautiful. Granted my grandparents, my cousin Roberta and even my parents have done their part in telling me these things . I feel like Jason has "shown me" all of these things. I mean if someone as amazing as Jason can love me so much and want me around, it just proves I must be pretty amazing as well.

Hard to believe I will be 26 in September, hard to believe that it will have been 10 years that I have lived in Utah and been on this journey I am currently on.

So I guess after SPILLING MY GUTS out- it shows you a small glimpse into my life, into what makes me different from everyone else.