It all happened last year on October 7th. Milo was taken to the babysitter's while Samantha went to work. She was working and going to school, in order to provide a better life for her and her son. Unfortunately, it was going to he the worst day of her life. She was going to be forced to face the kind of thing we only face in our worst nightmares. This nightmare was brought to life for Sam. Sam has written a memorial and it is running in the paper October 7th.
Unfortunately I had no idea of what had happened the night of the 7th as I lay my head down to go to sleep. It wasn't until the afternoon of October 8th when I finally received a phone call from Grandma and Carol. They were in tears and yelling. Telling me that I needed to get on ksl. RIGHT AWAY! They said to hurry. So I was rapidly trying to assess what was happening and cooperate with their request, assuming someone was in a car accident, never assuming to see what was going to pop up as BREAKING NEWS... But there in BOLD letters- the sickest of headlines, I have EVER forced down my throat (in my ENTIRE LIFE) "Sandy Man Facing Charge of Child Abuse Homicide"
My brain stared at the picture of this man and I immediately KNEW who he had hurt. I was aware of the babysitting arrangements. I knew what had happened, yet my body wasn't accepting this. I remember I started reading so quickly what had happened. With each word I choked down I remember things started FADING. I was rocking back and forth and weeping. My team raced to my desk and stood there holding me. The last thing I had strength to do was to call my cousin Roberta on the 3rd floor. I couldn't breath. I don't even remember what I said on the phone, I just remember calling for her. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn't reading this right, that it was ok. That it wasn't what I ALREADY KNEW IT WAS!
In that article a Sandy Police Sgt. Justin Chapman said "The injury is consistent with shaken baby and rapid deceleration--meaning if a person moved at a high speed or a high velocity and suddenly stopped--that would be the cause of damage to the brain."
My cousin drove me as quickly as possible up to Primary Children's Hospital where Milo was flown. I was rushing down the hallways trying to find her. Trying to find her family. Finally they gave us the direction they were in and I was quickly going down the right hall. I turned a corner and saw her family all crowded in a small conference room. I just stood there staring at them, unable to make words form. Unable to do anything but stare and begin to understand what was happening. Her sister Kristina saw me first and came out. She was defensive as ANY good sister would be. She said "what are you doing here?" "Why are you here?" I just stared. My cousin began to speak for me. When I caught my breath I spoke up. Only I wasn't sure if it was making sense at all. I expressed to her that only MINUTES ago I was at my desk at work and received a phone call. That I got on KSL and read about what had happened. That NO ONE told me. NO ONE TOLD US at all. I wasn't told what happened the day before. That I had JUST FOUND OUT FROM KSL.COM. Kristina stared at me in disbelief that was quickly overcome with sympathy and FOR ME. She hugged me, got her mom and Sharon came out. Sharon told me "Sam thought you knew, that your whole family knew and that NONE OF YOU CARED!" My heart sank. In her most tragic time, she thought that we had all turned our backs on her. I couldn't believe all the pain she was dealing with. At once! We were accepted into the room and soon Jason met me up at the hospital. He sat next to me and tried to keep me calm. The next 24 hours seemed a blur... My cousin and I left that night and returned early the next morning with breakfast for her family. We stayed there and finally I was allowed to go see Sam. I did my best to stand tall and strong so she would have a Friend to Lean on. I walked into the hospital room and saw her laying with her precious boy in the hospital bed. I couldn't do it, couldn't stay strong. She looked at me and grabbed by the hand. We both wept together. My cousin was there with me and the 3 of us said a prayer. My cousin leaned over her and Milo and myself leaning over them as well. It was a powerful prayer. One that I KNOW WAS HEARD!
Over the next few weeks Sam and her family were dragged through the nightmare over and over again. Sammy had to get her son's funeral arranged while still not having time to try and swallow all that had just happened. It still didn't seem real. The night before the funeral there was a viewing. When we arrived it was full of friends and family. All talking amongst small groups and watching
the slide show that was playing in the corner of the room. I remember walking in and being hesitant at what to say or do next. I looked up to see a line forming by Milo and Sam. Everyone was walking up to Sam hugging her and crying. She was left to stand up there and comfort all of US. Where was her team of comfort? Why was no one supporting her and holding her? When it was us up next to go up, I too broke down. This time she did as well. We just squeezed each other SOOO tight and just cried. Not a word was shared in that moment ONLY TEARS! The next day at the funeral it again just didn't seem real. Not to me. It was a fog. A blur of actions and motions. I didn't drive (thank gosh as I was obviously NOT THINKING about the road) and just in daze as we got to the cemetery. As we left the cemetery I just knew that I couldn't leave it at that. i had to call her constantly. I had to check on her. Let her know that I am here whenever. The days to follow seemed to drag on so slowly; court
dates and news media all over this case. A little over Two months after the horrific crime had taken place he pleaded guilty to the charge of felony child-abuse homicide. He was sentenced to 5 years-to life in prison. Sweet Milo was born December 30th 2008 and flew home October 8th 2009. He was just 9 months and 8 days old. The picture with the cake was on what would have been Sweet Milo's 1st birthday! We all went up to the cemetery and sang happy birthday to him and took up flowers. It has been a rollercoaster for Sam and her family. Over the past year Sammy and I have grown INCREDIBLY close. She did move to California and is living with a good friend of hers, but we talk on the phone
daily. Email constantly, snail mail and text. She is the strongest person I have ever met in my life, aside from my Cousin Roberta. Her strength inspires me EVERY SINGLE DAY! It allows me to see that I can accomplish anything. That the small drama in life is NOT IMPORTANT. She has shown me that if she can get out of bed in the mornings then I should have NO COMPLAINTS WHATSOEVER. I know we all get caught up in our own lives and our own complaints. But let me assure you WE ALL HAVE IT SOOO EASY! The loss of a child (no matter what cause) is one so many of us WILL NEVER know. I can't begin to imagine what that feels like. Nor would I ever pretend to BEGIN to understand. I can however, tell you from experience what it is like to watch a role model of yours pick up the pieces from such a loss. What it is like to watch first hand as this person takes the cards that were dealt to her and STAND BACK UP. Take one step at a time and CONQUER every obstacle that is set in front of her. She does her best to stay so focused on the positive things that she still has. She is so compassionate, caring, and every time that Sam and I are together I get to see glimpses of who she was. The Old Sam is there. I see that she is there and fighting to get through this. We have shared so many tears and so many hugs. So many wordless stares.. We have also shared countless laughs. She is going to get through this. I will be there EVERY STEP of the way with her. She truly is the kind of person everyone wants in their life. Someone that you can learn from, grow from, share things with, be yourself around, and know you can trust. All things are SO CLEARLY there with her!
daily. Email constantly, snail mail and text. She is the strongest person I have ever met in my life, aside from my Cousin Roberta. Her strength inspires me EVERY SINGLE DAY! It allows me to see that I can accomplish anything. That the small drama in life is NOT IMPORTANT. She has shown me that if she can get out of bed in the mornings then I should have NO COMPLAINTS WHATSOEVER. I know we all get caught up in our own lives and our own complaints. But let me assure you WE ALL HAVE IT SOOO EASY! The loss of a child (no matter what cause) is one so many of us WILL NEVER know. I can't begin to imagine what that feels like. Nor would I ever pretend to BEGIN to understand. I can however, tell you from experience what it is like to watch a role model of yours pick up the pieces from such a loss. What it is like to watch first hand as this person takes the cards that were dealt to her and STAND BACK UP. Take one step at a time and CONQUER every obstacle that is set in front of her. She does her best to stay so focused on the positive things that she still has. She is so compassionate, caring, and every time that Sam and I are together I get to see glimpses of who she was. The Old Sam is there. I see that she is there and fighting to get through this. We have shared so many tears and so many hugs. So many wordless stares.. We have also shared countless laughs. She is going to get through this. I will be there EVERY STEP of the way with her. She truly is the kind of person everyone wants in their life. Someone that you can learn from, grow from, share things with, be yourself around, and know you can trust. All things are SO CLEARLY there with her!Her precious boy is a hero to ALL who KNEW HIM. He is a donor and saved the lives of other precious children. A quote from the memorial in the newspaper that Sam wrote "One of the many things that keeps me going is knowing Milo's strong heart is still beating in some little girls' chest right now. I hope it is just as full of love in her chest as it was in Milo's."
This has been the single hardest obstacle I have ever been faced with. It didn't happen to me directly, but happened to my best friend. The pain doesn't just go away, I don't believe it ever will for Sam. She is a strong girl so she is getting through the days. I am pregnant now. Our precious daughter is due in December. I am counting down the days til she is here for me to meet. The same countdown I know My best friend has going until she is with her son again. I am getting a glimpse of what this LOVE for my daughter is like and she isn't even here. To know the level of that love on the day she is born will only give me a fraction of an idea of what my BESTIE is feeling everyday. My sweet girl will for sure know her "Aunt Sam" She will know her so well. Also will learn of Milo. She will go with me to the cemetery to take him flowers and to sing Happy birthday to him in December. The same way we will sing it to her.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete