30 Day Blog Challenge

30. Who are you?

When I first began this blog (MONTHS AGO- ooopsie) I remember looking at this one and being somewhat intimidated.. I mean this one was one that appeared to require me to open up the most.. To DISH out what I don't reveal too often.

Who are you? A few responses come to mind... "I'm Montana" or "I'm me".. But more importantly I feel like this question covers sooo much more.. More like "Who are you? What do you stand for?" in which case this will be a little longer.

I am ME! Montana Meyers. Legally my first name is still Shirley, but I am hoping with our $ from taxes this year that that will FINALLY officially change. I am hoping to have my first name changed to "Montana". That will be such a great day for me. "Montana" seems to give me a sense of belonging, confidence, pride, and it was something that seemed to officially say "Here is your FRESH START".

My entire life I feel like I haven't felt like a "Shirley". Always felt out of place and off.. Always was compared to my mother's reputation or my sisters. Neither of those are a good thing. I am not one to want to open up to many people & I think it stems from my childhood. It was rather "ROCKY" to say the least. A lot of "let downs" (much more than the average child) so I just sort of "shut down" and grew to be more and more "inverted/isolated. I have always disliked my real first name. It seems to cause me anxiety every time i hear it. I always remember people laughing at it and saying "that's an old lady name" or whatever. It just NEVER seemed to fit ME.. (if that can make sense). So many people that i have met now look at me in disbelief and shock when they find out. They all agree & say "you don't look like a Shirley to me at all". :D hahaha.. Makes sense to me. My entire life I had nick names.. So often times i was called that rather than my real name; Suggie Bear, Punkin, Blondie, etc. Then I moved to Salt Lake and was givin the name "Montana" by Randi Bezzant and Kevin Beach at a party after the first football game. It stuck. I feel like from that moment I carried myself with confidence, with pride.. I was known for being ME.. That was all.. I was disliked because of ME or loved for that same reason. No more did I feel hated because someone hated my sister, or because of what my mom had done previously. I was judged for what I brought/didn't bring to the "table" & I loved this. I loved getting to stand on my own two feet and represent myself. It was/is so empowering. I felt I could finally take on the world.

I moved in with my cousin, who got custody of my brother and I in hopes to give us "the childhood" before we passed it all up. I was terrified but more so, ECSTATIC.. I knew this was going to be tough, but I Knew that it would be amazing. Always looked up to my cousin and always wanted to be like her when I "grew up". It was such a great opportunity to be here. Roberta played so many roles for me. Mother/Cousin/Sister/Best Friend. So while she would "put her foot down" on things, I know that I could & often times did TELL her more than a daughter would regularly tell her mother. So it was great.

I met Jason in high school and told my cousin that first night at the gym in Magna. "wow, he's so hot... One day cuz, I'll kiss that face. One day"... Another great sign that I was confident. i did just that, TALKED TO JASON!!! & before I knew it, We began dating and we had our ups/downs that every new relationship has. But I knew from the beginning that my feelings for him were STRONGER than I'd felt for ANYONE before. Before long though we were nearly inseparable. Each others best friends... It was/is the most amazing feeling to find that person who just makes you a better person. I can happily say that I married my best friend. He is the love of my life and my biggest supporter. I couldn't feel more blessed to know that we are "in this for the long haul" We were married August 22nd 2009. It was a beautiful day and its still so fresh in my mind. I pray I always remember the way I felt that day.. (Like I was floating on a cloud). I remember that everything fell silent when I made it down the isle and looked into his eyes. I remember ONLY seeing/hearing him. Again I felt this way when we had our first dance.. People were clapping and cheering (I know this from the video of this) but I don't recall any noise at all, other than the sound of his breathing and that he was quietly singing the words to Kenny Chesney's Me & You.. to me. It was such a amazing moment in time.

In March of 2010 We got the most "life changing" news I've ever received. We were pregnant. We were about to be parents. I had life growing inside me. I couldn't put into words all the feelings.. Blessed, thankful, excited, LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, excitement, GIDDY, Terrified, worried, blessed, appreciative, honored, delighted, HAPPY, LOVE LOVE LOVE (did I say that already?) After months of preparing for the arrival of our little baby, she finally arrived. Our perfect little Angel girl. Khloe Maddison Meyers. 6 pounds 10 ounces, 18 inches long. Born 3:28 p.m. and absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! I knew the MOMENT That I saw her and held her in my arms I was complete. I was exactly where I wanted to be in life and was absolutely blessed to be given the opportunity to watch over this precious girl and only grow closer to her and to Jason. I knew that my life would NEVER be the same as it was- and I couldn't have been happier about it...

Every day still I am finding myself in awe.. Just absolutely Thankful & BLESSED to have my amazing husband/best friend Jason in my life & to have our little Beauty Khloe with us too! It's such a powerful feeling to look at the two of them. I am SOOOOO BLESSED!!

It's so great to set a goal and GO FOR IT.. 100% go for it.. It pays off for sure to be determined, CONFIDENT, and MOTIVATED. :D

So again who am I?

I am ME.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

I am a daughter.

I am a friend.

I am a sister.

I am a cousin.

I am a niece.

I am an Aunt.

I am a Grand-daughter.

I am a hard worker.

I am honest.

I am loyal.

I am in love.

I am loved back.

I am thankful.

I am Blessed.

I am HAPPY.

I am confident.

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

I know I get scared at times, I know I sometimes doubt myself and don't always believe in myself, I know I am wrong & more than I'd like to be, but mostly.. "I KNOW ITS OK BECAUSE I AM LOVED AND I AM ME!!!"

"You can ONLY be yourself , so why not "get out there and be the best YOU, you can be""!!!