Out of Ideas

We have been struggling with Raeanne for sometime now. Basically since day 1. She has been giving us a run for our money and I truly am past my breaking point.. I fear that when she goes back with Missy she will only PUSH Missy into a relapse because of Raeanne's CONSTANT cry for attention and lashing out. It's so hard. All you mom's out there, if you have any advice PLEASE HELP ME OUT!!

Raeanne has been going to a therapist (its mandatory by the State) and she has been getting her sessions alone and also with her mother. Yet it appears to be doing NO GOOD!!!

At the very beginning everyone who met Raeanne saw this lost little girl, terrified of rejection by another person, so excited for the opportunity to get a second chance at her childhood. She was so kind and so innocent. I latched onto her right away, wanting to protect her, love her, teach her how to be thankful for things and be an honest hard working person. I wanted to show her that she could find happiness, that she could find peace with herself and her situation. She quickly began acting out for attention, but negative attention, we caught her talking dirty online, with inappropriate pictures online and tried to express to her that the Internet is an OPEN Field, that ANYONE can see those pictures and do whatever they wished with them. She only nodded her way through the conversation only to continue doing it behind our backs. She has this mentality that "it won't happen to me" and doesn't realize how scary it is for us. Raeanne has been stealing, sneaking, lying, cheating, and I am so beyond embarrassed and disgusted. She has snuck into my bedroom and taken my clothes (about 20 shirts I can still NOT LOCATE- I believe she took them to school or gave them to friends as I have searched her room), taken shoes, panties and even bras of mine. She has taken curling irons, makeup and much more from me as well. It's a slap in the face and it is breaking my heart that she finds this behavior ok. I have talked to her about this several times, but it doesn't help. I have now began locking our bedroom door and bathroom door daily, yet my things are still coming up missing if I forget to lock something up.

Two weeks ago she snuck a boy into her room. He arrived at 8 p.m. and we caught him there 1t 11:30 p.m. but ONLY because the boys' father showed up to find him. I had been in the shower and heard this THUMP noise and ran upstairs thinking Papa had fallen down. That is when i heard a knock at the door and went to get it. The dad was requesting his son, who came moping down our hallway. I wanted to rip his head off his shoulders and then do the same to Raeanne. She is 13 years old sneaking a boy into our house. I am livid. We screamed, preached and I finally broke into tears, out of ideas what to do with her. She just doesn't get how dangerous it is to be doing these things, she doesn't believe that SHE COULD end up ruining her life and stealing her own innocence away. She is constantly lying to me, Grandpa, Grandma and Jason. None of us can trust a single word that comes out of her mouth which hurts us all so bad. We never wanted it to get like this.

Just last night about midnight Jason woke me up saying "what are they doing up there?" and i listened and could hear thumping and walking around. Jason went upstairs and began hollering at Raeanne, I quickly climbed out of bed and went upstairs to investigate, hoping I could calm the situation and get to the bottom of whatever had happened. When I went upstairs Grandma was leaning on the stairwell handle, very upset. Raeanne had spent the weekend with her cousins Kelly and Megan. She had had a blast from what we could tell. We quickly found out why it was so much fun for her. She had broke into the office and stole the debit card. She had been using all weekend and ran up over $140 on it. When Grandma confronted her about it, she said "I didn't do it, maybe Montana went shopping with it". Are you kidding me? I wanted to slap her in the face. I do NOT steal, I do NOT lie. I would NEVER take her debit card and the fact she even mentioned that floored me, I was fighting back the tears and the anger that was rising, I was about to pounce on this "broken" child and knew it would solve NOTHING.

She has been getting away with every and its been made FAR TOO EASY for her. I think the family needs to sit down and talk, we need to discuss the options, one of which may need to be D.T. temporarily. Not that I want to just throw Raeanne away, but we are NOT GETTING through to her, she is NOT GRASPING this at all. She has this attitude that EVERYONE owes her everything and that if you don't jump when she says that you hate her. I am out of ideas. I don't know what to do from here. I know she is crying out for help, yet we are all failing to provide her the help she needs to get through this. Every time she makes a mistake like this we yell at her and set her GROUNDING rules up,yet 3 days later she is doing it ALL OVER again. I say one thing to her, she runs to Grandma and Grandma does something different. Its so hard. I don't know what to do, I feel we are going way to easy on her and Grandma is just the sweet lady that doesn't want to hurt her. We all want to just provide a happy home for her and lover her, but we are running out of ways to do this.

Lord help us. I just want her to wake up and realize what she is doing. Snap out of it, I miss that thankful sweet girl, this vicious, lying, sneaking, stealing, girl HAS GOT TO GO!!!!